I feel a bit over it. I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotion for the past year and a half. I campaigned my ass off for Obama, watched as the negativity drenched the airwaves with back and fourths between dem on dem, pub on dem, dem on pub, pundit on pundit and so on. And then, after all our hard work, knocking on doors, calling and campaigning, we finally got our man elected and I felt vindicated over all of the “good luck with that” comments that had finally been proven cynical. It was a moment of complete faith in humanity and I was proud to know that I had help to usher in a new age.
It was a bit sad to wake up nine months later and realize that I had been dreaming.
In my naivete, I had neglected to see that the sharp dividing lines had merely been blurred for a moment by the exhaustion of a long campaign. Nonetheless, I felt motivated, rejuvenated and ready to get down to business. We had a depression to avert, a drunken financial system to regulate, a war to wind down and one to reassess and recommit to. There was a broken healthcare system, a crumbling infrastructure and a devastating addiction to oil that had America dealing in the back alleys of the world for another hit. Iran was threatening the world with nuclear war, schools had cut PhysEd and other curriculum because of underfunding, obesity ran rampant from a food chain built on a high calorie, low content menu; there was a a bit of mending fences with the world and, last but not least, there was taking back just a little bit of control from the corporatocracy that has slimed its way into every nook and cranny of our elected officials lives and voting records. In other words, our plates were full and we were finally going to change the world. We had all dreamed it from when we were wee pups, but now was our time to do it.
Shame on me for being so idealistic. Idiot. The real shame is that these last months have made me sour. I’m sick of it. I don’t feel beaten necessarily. i don’t feel defeated. I still have faith that many of the things I’ve pushed for will become reality, but I’ve lost a bit of faith in humans. I’ve been watching Ken Burn’s documentary series “The National Parks” recently. It’s been such a pleasant distraction. The constant, mindless and pompous chatter of pundits on both sides, the disrespectful, and hateful sneers and jeers from both political camps have finally taken their toll on me. I’ve been constantly asking myself if this is what I worked so hard for? Will waiting patiently for my fellow man to try to be better be a good use of my time? Or should I just tune out the noise and do what I know is best in hopes that the man yelling me down in a town hall will see what he’s done and try to reconcile? It would be the neighborly thing to do.
There’s got to be self-reflection, right? Everyone goes home in the evening, and eventually realizes that maybe they were a little emotional. Maybe things were said that reflected poorly on themselves and, maybe, just maybe, they feel a little guilty about those things. We eventually realize that, no matter our political objectives, respect is more important than any healthcare bill could ever be and that being quality human beings trumps all, right?
This is what I’m struggling with. Is this where we are as a culture? Has our own intolerant and spoiled wants trumped our basic principles of respect? Or are my thoughts being invaded by blatherers that are merely twisting my idea of reality? Are we still a good people, with the goal of advancing our society for a common good or are we turning into angry, greedy and self-centered society? Somebody please let me know. Because if it’s the latter, I’m headed into the woods. You can have at it.
Hey Brian-
I’m with you. I’ve checked out to a certain degree. I’ve got my family, my work, I don’t rely much on other people and minimize my engagement in political discussions. It’s like there’s so much to say and not enough time to say it and, realistically, a lot of people are thinking the same thing. I never thought I would be in my mid 30′s and spitting rocks over politics all morning over breakfast. I think the main source of frustration is that the answer seems SO clear, but it’s like walking around the block to go next door and it’s infuriating. I’m tired of everyone acting like they’re entitled to this and that… if you’re so goddamn broke and hard up, get rid of your cell phone, cable television, your car payment for the car you couldn’t afford in the first place, hit the bricks and find work somewhere. it’s like a mob mentality… who would have ever thought hearing “oh, we’re just going to “WALK AWAY” from our house because it’s not worth half of what we paid”? WHAT?? uhm… ok, are you selling your house today? no? Then STFU and keep making the payments you agreed to make and get rid of your ’08 Denali (hi Cam!).
I don’t know, it’s depressing for sure. I can tell you this with complete sincerity, even though I don’t comment on your blogs or chat much with you on FB, reading your blog keeps me grounded. It’s good to know that someone else out there feels like I do and I’m not alone in this cave. I appreciate that you take the time and do what I seemingly can’t find the time to do, which is express your thoughts in an open forum. There are a lot out there like you, this change isn’t going to be quick and, as much as I rallied for Obama, he’s not the answer. He’s not the chosen one. He is, though, proof positive that there are a LOT of people that share your sentiments. I think we have mistakenly put a face on “change” when it needs to be ALL of us. Unfortunately campaigning and fighting for what you believe in doesn’t stop with an election and it can be a long and lonely road, my friend. One quote I remember from my VCU days was from Winston Churchill:
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
Keep on keeping on.
/m
We’re still good – most of the time – but frustration will beat anyone down. When you start to see the world through Charlie’s eyes, all that passion will bubble back up, just in a new, fresh way.
(I love your blog)